Yesterday I found the courage to go to a club on my own, and it felt amazing.

I don’t know what exactly made me go, but I somehow got the urge to just go there and dance.
It was a mix of stuff of course - but since I was a bit drunk, I feel like I need to highlight the actual reasons (because we know just being drunk doesn’t really help with trans stuff… I wish it was that easy…).

I think it was a mix of the following:

• I recently got into clubbing in VRChat… and even though it doesn’t really translate to real life, it does in some aspects. Mainly it gave me the confidence of “I belong in a club, because I like to dance and have fun”
• I read reviews of a lot of clubs in my area and this one just felt right. It has the reputation of being managed by ultra leftists… and even I some of us might not like it, identifying a trans is super political… and I feel like there is no safer space than being surrounded by people who are ultra leftists. It just felt like the safest place to be.
• Once again, alcohol isn’t the answer, but it helps to not even hear some of the transphobic brainworms

It took me two or three hours to get ready. I listend to music, tried makeup, tried mascara… and just went outside.
In a tight black shirt with silicone breast forms and my favorite jeans -

And it went exactly like I imagined.

I went there as myself. I wasn’t scared of the bouncers, I wasn’t scared of the place… I went there with the mindset of “This is the place I belong”.
And the bouncers were super nice, they didn’t say anything - they just told me what to do if I feel unsafe… I don’t even know if they did that because of how I presented… and I like to think they didn’t - because that’s what I imagine this place to be.

It took me two hours of no one caring about me to finally just feel free.
I even got the courage to take of my jacked and just dance in my shirt - like the me I saw in the mirror when I left the house.

I danced for around 4 hours, until the music stopped and the few of us left on the dance floor went home in peace.

what a night. the first time I’ve been in a place where I felt like no one cared about me
NO.
a place where I felt like even if someone dared to question my existence, they would have been outnumbers by complete strangers who would have fought for me.

incredible.

all. people. have. to. right. to. be.
<3